i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
