I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
