Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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