i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
