Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My feet surprised me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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