What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
