And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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