I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
