dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
