Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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