that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
