youre lurking in front of me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
