So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
