you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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