Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
