The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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