in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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