Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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