we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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