Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My ass is underappreciated
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize