whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
im about as happy as oj after his trial
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
did i just pee glitter
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