You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
