hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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