is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
