In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
