That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
zippers are such a cool invention
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
