Got a toothbrush?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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