I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
