Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
