i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she smelled like a LAN party
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
