I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
