It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
