I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
tell me about the eggs
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
