i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
