I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
