When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
