who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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