Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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