she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
