I think my vagina is haunted
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
