Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
