Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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