Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We have so much sex to catch up on
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
