ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
