This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
