Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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