you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
