were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Even my vagina gasped.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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