Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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