we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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