The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
