Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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